Thursday, September 21, 2006

What Were They Thinking?

So the rock group that needed to be named thought long & hard into the night over beers, tequila shots & skanky women to come up with a new name for their amazing band.

After assembling all their brain cells into one petrie dish, putting it into one of those amazing machine froms CSI that shake, rattle & roll evidence samples, they heard a tiny, squeeky "A-Ha!". A new name they have.

drumroll please.

And the winner is: Rockstar:Supernova. That's right. They've named the band after the show.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Other Name Options

Continuing with helping SP find a new name {although why they wouldn't use SuavePorn is beyond me} here are a couple other options, made from anagrams of SuperNova ~ and no, I did not think of these myself:

A Perv On Us
So Parvenu

parvenu \PAR-vuh-noo; -nyoo\, noun:1. One that has recently or suddenly risen to a higher social or economic class but has not gained social acceptance of others in that class; an upstart.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

It's Begun

(found on Sympatico's Dramarama page, written by Ryan Porter)

"Rock Star Eliminates Girlfriend

Rockstar winner Lukas Rossi, whose name only means anything to me because Entertainment Tonight Canada has run about 100 successive days of coverage on him, finally has a foot in the door. His girlfriend, however, will have to wait on the sidewalk.

The website TMZ posted video yesterday that was filmed outside Lukas's victory party. While Lukas is cheered as he enters the party with Tommy Lee, a woman named Francesca, claiming to be Lukas's girlfriend, is turned away. At one point, in between congratulations from hangers-on, Lukas takes Francesca, who eTalk Daily reported he has been dating for seven years, aside, though TMZ captions him saying, "What girlfriend?" in the video.

Francesca says she was banned from the party because some shadowy Rockstar people didn't want Lukas to be seen with a girl. That's a really sorry thing to do to your girlfriend. Matchmaker, can you please set this girl up with a decent guy?"

Puffy Kracker predicted there would be a backlash against Lukas as the second Canadian to win an Rockstar. I don't know know if this is the case, or if it's just a media frenzy for the first 15 min of fame. Time will tell.

Friday, September 15, 2006

A Three Way Elimination Match May Be Brewing

The California-based Supernova may have to take another Supernova to court. This could get exciting!

Philosphy of a Rock Star

  • Overthought songs tend to be overthought.
  • Life is a constant clinic.
  • If you're gonna roll with the big dogs, you better have a pretty mean bite.

Trouble In Paradise

The boys are in trouble. A judge has ruled that they are no longer able to use the name SuperNova.

May I suggest the most obvious Suave Porn?
Or perhaps Raven Soup?
Or Avon Purse?

You Complete Us! Whoever we are, since we are now nameless.... Posted by Picasa

We're missing someone! Posted by Picasa

Finale Episode

Finale or finally? Your call.

Dave says it's been a helluva summer and he can't wait to see who he's gonna be touring with in January. Now call me stupid, but didn't they already say that the top 5 were going to singing with the House Band on the tour?

Magni, Toby & Lukas all hit the Bottom2 at some point during the voting.

And the Bottom2 are:

Magni ~ Fire by Jimmy Hendrix
Magni looks great all in black with his white suit jacket. He plays guitar. There is a crazy light show in the background with flames & everything! They finally sprang for a decent light tech. This again was awesome. Jason gives him a standing O.

Toby ~ White Wedding by Billy Idol
He's dressed like a militant priest. This is the most covered up I've seen him. This was also awesome. Dilana was trying to sing along but it's fairly obvious she doesn't know the words. His damn suspenders are dangling again. Does a singalong with the audience & jumps into the crowd only at the end, which is different for him.

Both were great {there's that word again} how can they choose? I think Magni is gone.

Bilgy - Magni, it's been a great ride but you're the next to go. You didn't look so much like a leader of the band, but a part of the band.
Isn't that the point? Or do they want someone to swoop in & takeover? I don't understand. My head is hurting already.
Dave - you were the most consistent singer.
Magni - thanks everyone.

A montage of singing & confessional clips of each of the Final3 are shown, & then they are asked to state their case.
Lukas - 2nd or 3rd is not an option. I came here to be 1st.
"I think you guys are amazing. It would be my honour to lead you on a world tour."
Dilana - anything you want you have to fight for. I need them & they need me.
"I am 1000% dedicated to representing great guys & great music. Lukas is incredible, Toby is amazing, but I'm the one."
Toby - keeping my eyes on the prize.
"I'm ready. I'll bring the energy higher than I ever did here. Wait till you see me perform after downing a few beers. Besides, I'm the tallest."

Am I reading something into the fact that the Survivor commercial that just aired featured "Headspin" performed by Lukas? Can anyone say "foreshadowing"?

And they all perform again!

Lukas "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve from week 4
Dilana "Zombie" by The Cranberries from week 3
Toby "Somebody Told My" by The Killers from week 2

No commentary because everyone was good, a little nervous but good.

Jason - Toby, you've got the best vocal range, it cuts thru no matter how loud the guitars are. You are the next to go home.
Boos! Boos! And more Boos! Toby tries to get his fan girlies to shut up.
Dave - wish you all the best
Toby - I had the best time ever doing this. To come in 3rd to these two is no shame. It took me a while to get great, but these guys already were. You've taught me so much. Thank you.

Toby leaves, and BawkBawk joins Lukas & Dilana on stage. Dave says "Looks like you're going to perform a goth wedding." Well, they are holding hands.

Bilgy calls for a commercial break. Do you really think they needed more time to decide, or did they just notice they were done really early? Must research this.

At this point, I phoned Velvis to put forth the theory that SP may pick them both. But I don't know!

Lukas - your look, energy and vocals are amazing
Dilana - you're enchanting, and your voice is amazing.
We've got to listen to our fans, and we've picked the person with the highest number of votes. Lukas, you're our boy. Welcome.

The finale episode is brought to you by Verizon Wireless, MySpace, Honda and the word amazing.

Dave, Bilgy & everyone else blather on about how amazing they think Dilana is, and can they please, please play in her sandbox? Like she friggin' cares now. But, whatever.

And the complete band go up on stage to perform "Be Yourself" and other amazing songs by this amazing band that cannot be named. When they got up, I hit myself on the forehead & said "Of course, they were going to choose Lukas all along." You know how I knew? Do ya? Bilgy was wearing a white belt. Oh yeah, that's right. A clothing homage to Lukas.

If there is a show next year, you can be damn certain that every hopeful contestant is going to claim to be a homeless Canadian. I'm just saying.

The Bet

My friend, the bettor {you know who you are, you like to bet, bet, BET} and I placed a teeny, tiny wager on the outcome of Rockstar:SuavePorn.

I didn't know who the hell to pick so I put all their names on a piece of paper, cut it up and picked one. I picked Toby, & my intuition kicked in and said "NO!" so I ignored the paper & bet on Lukas.

Just so you know.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Performance Episode 11: Recaps & Reactions

Look at all the handmade signs in the audience! I thought I was watching WWE for a minute.

Fan favourite is intro'd by Dilana, cuz BawkBawk is pregnant & no one should expect her to work.

Ryan "Back of Your Car"
Oh NOW he thanx SP for the opportunity they gave him, and tells them he can't wait to hear their album. Do you think he's spent the last couple weeks reading all the stuff about him on the internet? Do you think he came here? {quickly sweeps & puts away trash, tidies hair} Hi Ryan! Welcome to SuavePorn. We didn't like you here. Go away, angry young man.
So this was pretty good, not super angsty/scary until the end. Oh, bad falsetto. Don't do that again. He's got a CD out called "Dark Horse". And he wins a Honda CRV for the fan fav vote. Someone on the Rockband Message Board is taking bets that "Back of your car" is going to be a commercial song for Honda CRV. I wouldn't doubt it one bit.

BawkBawk: Let's take a look at the amazing journey that got us here....
Montage of highs & lows, pitfalls & stumbles, on & off the stage.

Toby "Karma Police" ~ Radiohead
I think he borrowed gloves from Lukas, although they do look more like golfing gloves, so maybe he made his own. Not my favourite song, don't know it & it did nothing for me.
"Throw it Away" joined by Magni on guitar.
Crowd lurves this song as they all sing along. This is the most animated that Lukas has been over on the rawker pod during someone's performance. Magni shares the guitar after Toby writes "EVS" on the back of his head in jiffy.
Dave - great, great, oh.... & great
Bilgy - lost with the melody in the first song, but when you came into full voice it was great, great
Jason - loves his great energy

This season of Rockstar is brought to you by Verizon Wireless, Honda and
the word "Great". And Paula Abdul has snuck away from the shite to see what real music & talent sounds like.

Lukas "Fix You" ~ Coldplay
He almost trips over the mic stand, but recovers just in time. Can I hear him over the background vocals or is his voice just blending in that well? Dave holds up his phone during the song.
"Headspin" playing acoustic guitar
No mumbling, and he's doing his own echo. This was good.
Dave - great job. I questioned whether I could listen to you for 2 hours, but not only could I, I would buy a ticket to the show. But since he's going to be there, he won't have to actually put his money where his mouth is.
T.Lee - Wow. Cool as hell. Wait, what does he mean by that? Shake it off, Wilma. If you try to analyze what these people say, you'll end up in a nice white jacket.
Bilgy - great. fearless. We dig that you're willing to take a chance.

Dilana "Roxanne" ~ The Police
She's down to a cane now, so she's healing nicely. Starts out the song accappella - beautiful voice. Toby, Magni & Lukas come out singing backup.
Puffy Kracker calls out from computer room "That was okay!?!" He was surprised that he liked it.
This song is not angry, it's about freedom, & letting go of bad things. This is what she tells us so that we don't misunderstand her intentions. Now, I could be wrong HAHAHAHAHA! but isn't there a line in the song about killing someone? Yes,
here it is "So many times I wished you'd choke" and "I could've killed you in your sleep". Absolutely, that is about freedom & letting go. You bet.
You know, half of her skirt appears to be missing. How unfortunate for her. Ooops, she forgot herself for a moment and high kicked. T.Lee! Is she wearing any panties? She heads over to the couch area to sing in their faces, out into the crowd to sing to the masses in the cheap seats ~ & Paula ~ and then skipping down the stairs to head back to the stage. How long does it take to mend a "ripped calf muscle"? Anyone? Anyone? Must do research.
Dave - awesome, nice to see you back (or did he say your back?)
T.Lee - loved it all
Jason - should get matching outfits for the boys
Bilgy - can't wait til tomorrow to see how it all turns out. Did he miss a band meeting? Doesn't he know? The day before they pick & they don't know who they're going to have? I find that highly unlikely.

Magni "Hush" ~ Deep Purple
Magni plays guitar on this song & I loved it. Magni & Raphael singing & playing together ~ the guys belongs in THIS band. They are so awesome together. And I just noticed Sasha, the bass player. The guy exudes cool. {i just accidentally typed "fool" hahaha}
"When the Time Comes"
He really looks more comfortable on stage with a guitar in his hands. Without, he seems unsure of what to do, how to move.
Dave - killer job
T.Lee - good, but I don't remember the original. Boos from the audience. Now what they edited out here was T.Lee challenging the audience to sing it to him then if it was so memorable. And thus, the sound of crickets echoed back at him b/c in all truth, no one could remember it.
Jason - dig the original
Bilgy - great job, sang great, performed well

My standings are
1. Toby
2. Lukas
3. Dilana
4. Magni

Early Standings
1. Dilana
2. Toby
3. Lukas
4. Magni

Elimination Episode 10

Dave congratulates BawkBawk on her pregnancy ~ old news to Suave Porn readers!
She's having a girl.

Quick 5 min recap & Q&A:
Dave asked what it felt like to play their originals in front of a world-wide audience.
Lukas - used to playing for empty beer bottles & ashtrays, felt priviledged to be sharing something so intimate in front of so many people
Toby - I'm a happy little camper. I'm being myself up there {at this point some fangirlies yelled something to him} thanks girls. In 10 years.

So it's time for another enthralling performance from Supernova & this time it's going to be "Magni-fied". Oh, Jason. That was so lame. "It's All Love"
Magni plays accoustic guitar with. It's mellow, and I liked it. I liked it a lot! Not what I expected, good mellow song, but not a power ballad. Fav SP song so far, unfortunately, that's not saying much.

Whoever gets the encore is going to win a Honda Element SE, tripped out in true Rockstar Style. Does that mean some ho's are living in the back with a bottle of JD & some coke? What does that mean, exactly?
Announcement: Dave & The Panic Channel will be joining the tour. I would pay to see them too! Still no concert dates anywhere near me, however. Will content myself to listening to the music.

Encore: Toby "Throw it Away"
Damn suspenders again. Maybe if he wore shoulder pads, they wouldn't slip down all the time. He dedicates the song to the Crocodile Hunter, who was killed today in a freak accident with a sting ray. Toby's got some guyliner on, probably borrowed from Lukas.

All 5 were in the Bottom3 at some point, but the winners are:

Storm ~ Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
This is different than anything else she's done. Very nice. Very good. She's crying, Jason is crying {is he over his lust for Zayra?} She dedicates that to her mother.

Dilana ~ I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick
Original punk rock song? Not so. Cheap Trick was pop-rock, top 40 but never punk. Anyway, I'm not going to box her about it, cuz she has crutches & those things can leave a nasty mark. So she sings a not-so-subtle message to SP, and bops around like she doesn't have an injury, although she makes certain to keep off her right foot, so who knows? Maybe she's just on some really gnarly drugs. Hey! Must go check the stash to make sure no-one has been thieving.

Lukas ~ Headspin
You know, he's no dummy. He knows the more he sings his song, the more it will stick in our brains. And since Toby has sung his twice already, Lukas figured this would be a good idea. And it was. He's got quite the bedazzled cross belt buckle. Do you think he has his own bedazzler? Did you know you can buy one {called GeMagic} from Regal for $24.95, including the crystals? I can hook you up, I've got connections. But, I digress. Magni, Toby & Storm are all singing along .

I haven't a clue! Don't know what's going to happen, who's going home, what they want, where do they get those fabulous clothes, NOTHING!

Bilgy recaps:
Storm - in the B3 multiple times (uh, I think this is her second time, not to be picky or anything)
Dilana - in the B3 again, but you've been the one to watch from the beginning.
Lukas - it's your 1st time, go sit down.

Tommy can't Hawk so he passes it on to Jason who says "You both gave incredible, fantastic performances. We love you both. Storm, you going home to sleep in your own bed tonight."

Dave tells her that he chose to play with her & only her cuz he wants to climb her like a tree.
Storm thanks fans, fans @ home, freaks over there {the rawkers} and says you will see me again.
Dilana does a Buddha Bow. And the show is over, and I must Scope cuz I've got a bad taste in my mouth.

Performance Episode 10: Recaps & Reactions

BawkBawk announces - don't worry about the Dark Horse. Ryan's solo career has already taken off with the top 3 MSN downloads. Does this really mean anything? Is it like having a song on the Billboard charts? Must do research - meh. I don't care that much.

Recap of the past week & the reality episode {which I watched but was too tired to take notes or recap}. Now Dilana is getting a good edit, as a snippy comment she made to Lukas end up on the cutting room floor. She was wallowing again, saying her "Psycho Killer" was the worst performance of her life, & Lukas tried to comfort her by saying hey, don't let it get you down, we all make mistakes. To which she responded "Oh thank you for your kind words and understanding, even though I've been a snot to you" NO SHE DID NOT! She says "Yeah, like you with "Celebrity Skin"." Honestly. This woman has the mentality of an 11 year old.

Brief showing of the song writing workshop with Bilgy.
Storm was very professional.
Toby impressive.
Lukas less than prepared.
Dilana out of comfort zone. They also show Bilgy saying "If you're not bringing anything to us, what do we need you for?" as Dilana walks away. Dilana did NOT look happy at that one. Hehehe. Wait, was Magni even mentioned? Can't remember.

During song selection, they find out each of them are doing a set with one song from the list & one original. Dilana & Storm cheer when they hear original, & then you can actually see what that means sink into Dilana's brain & the "Oh Shit!" look comes across her face. Either that, or she's trying to think of which original song she's going to use.
Paul also gets a little screen time, with his comments regarding Dilana changing up her song, even though she claims she's never heard it. "To change up a song from a position of ignorance is a bad idea" he says, or something to that effect.

On to the performances!

Dilana "Behind Blue Eyes" ~ The Who
She's carried onto stage due to a ripped calf muscle during rehearsal. Does anyone know which leg? Cuz she's wiggling both. Oh, never mind, she's hopping around now so it's the right leg. Beautiful voice at the beginning. Maybe she's so riveting to watch because she gets great camera closeups? Must check out the other rawkers. How much do I lurve Jimmy? A lot! Nice air guitar ~ but I'll cut her some slack on that cuz she can't move much & it shows she's into the music. She mentions her "situation" yet again! Let it friggin' go! Oh, she's referring to living in a fishbowl. Here's my question: was the format of this show not properly explained to all participants or did some just not pay attention?
"Supersoul" ~ Dilana whatever-the-hell her last name is
Hops to the middle of the runway & rocks out. This was okay. Didn't mind it. Can you really do a high kick with a ripped calf muscle though? Must research this.
Dave - original was not my favorite
T.Lee - might have to box Dave, cuz he liked the original
Bilgy - very literal lyrics, need to use your imagination more
Jason - strong will & effort important in this biz

We find out the House Band will be opening for SP. I'd pay to see them, but I know they won't be coming near here so fugetaboutit.

Magni "Back in the U.S.S.R" ~ The Beatles
No one can accuse him of being the most dynamic performer up there. Oh, great guitar riff Raphael! I lurve him too. Magni does have a great voice though. And nice shoes. Seriously.
"When the Time Comes" ~ original
This was GOOD! Collective Soul meets Iron Maiden. I likey.
Dave - molten hot Magni, aggressive voice.
T.Lee - looked like the same performance to me, why were they so similar?
Magni - because they were both performed by me.
Bilgy - need to bring it up a little more
Not really sure what they were talking about, unless it's stage presence.

Storm "Suffragette City" ~ David Bowie
Dave joins her on guitar, saying he lurves this song.
Not her best vocally, but there's no denying she has fun up there - she's so confident! No probs with Dave up at the end of the runway.
"Ladylike" ~ Original
T.Lee was rockin' out during this and I know why. Cuz it rocked! This is such a good song, I can't wait to hear the original lyrics. Must find on
YouTube. Warning - not the best sound. Oh, & nice rack in that t-shirt, Miss Large.
Dave - blathers on about how he's played with a lot of great frontmen & it felt just like that. Also, his favourite original of both seasons. Now, I wouldn't go THAT far, but it was good.
And Storm just did a Buddha Bow, don't these people listen to me?
T.Lee - that track was Fuuuuuuhhhheeerrrrrrr or something similar to that sound.
Bilgy - great!

Lukas "Living on a Prayer" ~ Bon Jovi
He's got lead Goo hair! Stripped this way down, he's playing guitar. Ooooh, I like this; it's love songish/despair & angsty/Romeo & Juliette kinda vibe really spoke to me.

"Headspin" ~ Original
Got his white belt back from whoever had it last. Jason was singing along to this song. I liked this too, very angsty but not postal worker/stalker/killerish.
Dave - powerful emotional side you showed us
T.Lee - did you guys like that? (to crowd)
Bilgy - I am inspired when I watch you perform

Damn NTV! Damn channel was so busy playing some stupid Captain Canada commercial {Canada's great, look at our great land, we're looking to the future BLAAH!} that they cut off half of Toby's performance. And since I taped it & watched the next day, too late for me.

Toby "Mr. Brightside" ~ The Killers
didn't see. will accept comments
"Throw it Away" ~ Original
saw half of this. What I saw, I liked, it's very stadium anthem song. His supenders have slipped off his shoulders yet again, maybe they slope too much? While he was up near the couch, it looked like T.Lee tried to pinch his bum, but I think he was just trying to fix the dangling suspenders.
Dave - memorable
T.Lee - bad "bleeping" ass ~ and that's a direct quote, he censored himself
Bilgy - you put the fun in rock and roll
Jason - you embrace everyone, and bring us all in with your performance.

Bottom3: Dilana, Magni, Lukas
Sing with SuavePorn: Magni
Encore: Storm

The early Bottom3 didn't happen for me. Damn NTV!

Ranking at end of show
1. Toby
2. Lukas
3. Storm
4. Magni
5. Dilana

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Dark Horse Rides Off Into The Sunset, Munching On Some Sour Grapes

If you'd like to see the actual final interview with Ryan,
  • go to the rockstar website,
  • click on "Watch Episodes"
  • click on "Week 9" at the bottom
  • move arrow to the right until you see "Week 9 Bottom3 Interviews" with Ryan's face
  • click & enjoy "A Bitter Pill"
Here is a transcript for the elim interview with Ryan Star:

“I’m disappointed I’m booted off because I feel like I’m the best performer among all of these people. And the best songwriter, and all that stuff, so, I saw myself fronting Supernova, I saw them being a better band for it. With me as their singer they could have had, you know, a 20-year career. Without me, they won’t have 20 years; they might have 2 years. So, I said I’m sorry for that, meaning, sorry for you. And what I wanted to say was that I’ll see you on the charts and I’ll be looking down at you (turns his head downward like looking down a list).

“When Gilby Clark said I’m a better performer now than when I got here…unlike Jason, he didn’t do his research, because he’s never seen me play live before this. And if he did, he would never say that, because wait until he comes to my first live show after this and he’s gonna say “Oh, I get it now…”

“What’s next for Ryan Star is, I’m gonna go back to New York City and pursue my solo career. I’m going to probably right away record a live album and get it out as soon as possible. And just gonna get out there and be bigger than Supernova could ever imagine being.”

Elimination Episode 9

Police lineup again, Storm is showing some skin, trying to save herself from the hatchet.
BawkBawk mentions Dilana's heartfelt apology. "I apologize to every person who feels offended" is neither heartfelt, nor much of an apology in my book. An "I'm sorry, Forgive me, or Pardon my rudeness" would have been better, but what do I know?

Behind the scenes shots, Storm feels she's going home.
Dave addresses the grassy knoll rumors by reiterating what he wrote on his
blog (read "Our Position Has Been Compromised") that even though he's been saying he has nothing to do with voting, eliminations, etc. He Lied! Ah, ppod, you crack me up.

Another killer {and I use that term loosely} SP song with Lukas at the helm "It's On"
I'm a little concerned cuz Lukas touched a cymbal, is that allowed? Will T.Lee spank him for it?

Ok, while watching this, a couple things come to mind. They definately need a dynamic front person cuz Jason & Bilgy are boring to watch. This song, not the best. Reminds me of something but be damned if I can figure out what it is.

Why is Dilana wearing horns? Is she trying to be cute? Or steal the spotlight?

Encore: Toby with "Rebel Yell"
And he's off.... and it's over to the rawker pod.... and back to the cheap seats to make them feel special.... and now he's rounded the bend and is up near the couch.... and finally leading a singalong. Whew, I'm tired!

Everyone but Magni hit the B3 at one time. Contrary to what BawkBawk says, this does not mean that Magni got the most votes. And I can prove it mathematically, but not now. When Dilana's name was called, not as many boos as for the others, but was it editing? Only Mark Burnett knows.
Bottom3: Ryan, Storm, Dilana

Ryan ~ Baba O'Riley by The Who
He modestly announces he's going to "Blow your minds". Okay, what's with the horrible waste of champagne? Oh good, Toby has come over to rescue the booze & graciously shares with the other rawkers. Ryan, the crazy rawker that he is, cautiously climbs up on the Marshall stacks, almost decapitating one of the guitarists with his mic cord in the process. Bilgy actually looks embarrassed for him. As do I. Oh, he borrowed Lukas's white belt from Toby. It's nice that they have all learned to share. That was B-A-D.

Storm ~ Helter Skelter by The Beatles.
And she's off! Down through the crowd to plop onto T.Lee's lap and back into the crowd where she loses her hat but never her composure, and up onto the stage for the finish. You know, it's pretty risky to do a song that one of SP used to perform a lot as your elim song. {T.Lee, with Motley Crue, in case you're wondering}

And BawkBawk psychs out Toby with a "'re safe" and then "Dilana, welcome to elimination night"

Dilana ~ Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads.
She announces that the song is fitting to her situation, and she's going to dedicate it to herself. I think Jason just smelled a fart again. She's barefoot and bouncing around. I don't know this song at all so I can't tell if she did it well or not. According to those in the know, she missed a complete verse {French lyrics} and so just substituted her name in a couple time instead. She's got lots of her back to the audience ~ maybe cuz she didn't know the lyrics? ~ and there's pacing up & down the runway with bouncing & a bit of the flamenco dancing.

I honestly don't know what they're up to. I'd send Ryan, but I think they will send Storm packing.

Bilgy recaps:
Ryan - what an adventure, you've come so far, you were great tonight.
Storm - 1st B3, this was a solid great performance but we haven't seen a lot of growth
Dilana - lost in the middle of the song, however you have earned so much credit with us.
No one is sent back to safety!

TommyHawk: Ryan, unfortunately, I'm sorry to say you're the next to go.
Plenty of boos from the audience, and T.Lee looks around nervously like he could/should maybe take it back.

Ryan has the most ungracious goodbye since Ty. "You could have had 20 years of great music with me as your lead & I'll see you on the charts as a solo artist. That's where I'll be hanging out."

But wait, his elim interview is worse! I'll post a link here.

Performance Episode 9: Recaps & Reactions

Fan Selection Night

More DilanaDrama recap, for those with their heads under a rock who missed it last time.

Jason's comments about editing {surprise!} have been edited out. Sorry, was going to post a link for this but the thread on the Rockband message board is temporarily unavailable, or out of the service area. Check back for more details.

Lukas "Lithium" ~ Nirvana
lotsa piano & crowd interaction. Pretty good, although if I never hear another Nirvana song as long as I live, it'll still be too many.
T.Lee comments on the arrangement. Wow. I'm impressed that he can reference anything other than partying, girls and his penis.
Bilgy declares it his "best performance yet"
Jason says it was "Dy-no-mite!"

Magni "I Alone" ~ Live
Great campaign for votes! They show clip of him telling Canadians, Americans & Aussies that they don't have to vote for the others, vote for him! You can't even see where his head got cut. Ewwww, those veins are really starting to freak me out. He actually moves around, & heads over to the couch to rock right in their faces.
Jason gives him a standing O.
Bilgy is still looking for that extra something. What, should fire shoot out of his eyes?

Ryan "Clocks" ~ Coldplay
I think he's been nicknamed the Dark Horse cuz he always wears black, not because he's anything special. JMO. Shaky beginning, hey I think I hear that damn dog Lukas was talking about a couple weeks ago! What? He's now standing on a grand piano? Young man, you better not scuff that polish with your black "rocker" boots. Oh, and it's a Dukes of Hazzard slide back over to the keyboard, followed by a Fabulous Baker Boys sleazy crawl {although I would have preferred an homage to Carol Burnett & seen him fall on his ass, but that's just me}
Dave - killer {I think he meant, psycho killer}
Jason - lose the plot when you get up from the piano. Got booed. I also would boo him, but only because songs don't really have plots, that's more a book thing.
Bilgy - great, different every week.

Storm "Bring Me To Life" ~ Evanescence
Toby joins her for the duet parts & it's awesome. Storm sings the beginning lower than Amy, but it still sounds good. But sweetie, that dress is not flattering on you, it's accenting a paunch that I'm not even sure you really have. I know, hello pot - this is the kettle, but I'm not on TV.
Dave - lower register sounded good!
Bilgy - not as memorable as Jill. I think secretly, he really liked the bump & grind.
Jason - effort counts a lot. That's the lamest comment I've heard all season, and that's saying a lot!

Toby "Rebel Yell" ~ Billy Iidol
Someone please snap his ass with those damn dangling suspenders, I can't take it anymore! Channelled a bit of Elvis at the beginning. Chorus kicked it up a notch. No mention of Lukas also singing this song in the lead up, unlike all the others. Pulls up some chicks from the audience to dance with him on stage. The boys should like that.
Dave - strong performance
Bilgy - whole new level, loved that performance
T.Lee - I like that you get people naked, grab the girls & let's go to my dressing room.
Toby - better check some ID's

Dilana "Mother, Mother" ~ Tracey Bonham
Jill did this song in week 6 {T.Lee told her best ever performance}
Dilana plays guitar. Anyone else notice that full-on light show? No favourites here, boys & girls. And a leg thrown right over Sasha's shoulder, nice. Classy.
Dave - favourite performance of both seasons
T.Lee - I'm the king of mistakes, but we learn & don't make them again.
Bilgy - not a bad part in that performance
Jason - really good.

Encore: Toby
Bottom3: Storm, Magni & Ryan
Sing with SP: Ryan

Early B3: Storm, Ryan & Lukas. WTF? I don't know what the hell is going on anymore!

Reality Show August 29

Dilana, at 34 years old, is pouting like a 3 year old. "Everything I say is taken the wrong way, so I'm just not going to talk anymore". Um, can someone fill me in? What's the right way to take "I want to strangle you"? It's always good to wallow in self-pity on a job interview. And, after signing up for a reality show where cameras follow you around 24/7, it's also cool to get mad at the cameras, throw a glass to shatter on the ground & cut your "friend" and storm off to wallow a little more.

Watching her hanging out the window with her head in her lap, I couldn't help but hear that old 50's song "Lonely, I'm so lonely" in my head. I think that's her theme song today.

Storm invents a new word while describing the TV screen ~ Gigundous. Quick, someone get that to the Urban Dictionary, STAT!

Sorry, got distracted by Puffy Kracker so missed some of this drivel, but managed to make it back just in time to hear Dilana say something about "This horrific thing that happened to me". WTF? What? What happened? You flapped your lips, it was captured on tape & played back in front of millions of people, you got caught being a bitch and got called on it! The theme song has now changed to "Poor, poor pitiful me".

Yech. I'm done with reality stuff.

The question on everyone's lips, however, does Lukas ever swim? I worry about his makeup.

Elimination Episode 8

The rawkers are all on stage for a police line-up. I spot the criminal ~ it’s Dilana with Princess Lei hair dipped in candy floss.

We’re treated to a 6 minute “behind the scenes” with Dilana getting the evil edit. I really need to find out all that happened! I don’t know why, it’s a strange compulsion, but I will stay up late into the night {okay, late into the early morning} to find out all the stuff they cut from the show.

So all the rawkers were in the studio yet again competing to sing with Suave Porn. Why are they competing for the “Hey, hey, hey and the ho, ho, ho”? Not sure. These musical masterminds are really outdoing themselves in the lyric department. That's sarcasm, boys & girls.

Back in the studio, we hear SP featuring Toby on “Be Yourself and 5 Other Cliches”
Okay, who thought of this title? Evs.
Bilgy, my friend, those pants are bad. Too loosy goosy in your heiny. Please correct tout de suite. Nice chewy guitar at the beginning {and yes, that is the technical term. I take guitar lessons and I know!} Poor Toby, no dancing ho’s for you ~ which is kinda funny cuz you’d think that it would kinda go with the song? Well, at least he has his trucker chain AND dangling suspenders to keep his spirits up.

Oh yes!! They are going to address the press clinic. Yes, yes, YES! Oh, flashback to Harry & Sally, “I’ll have what she’s having.” So we get to see all the flora & fauna that spewed from her mouth, except, interestingly enough, Dilana naming Storm as one of the people who didn’t like SP’s music. Hmmmm, have to analyze that for a while.

Dave responds. “What the hell are you thinking? Never bag on your peers like that!”
Dilana “I screwed up, I apologise to every person who feels offended.”
Dave “Why would you say these things?
Dilana “I’m too honest, I don’t know how to lie”
Dave “Lukas, how do you respond?”

Lukas “I’m not surprised. I have to live with it, literally. I’m bigger than that {ever so slightly} so evs.

Finally, at 9:25 we get into the Bottom3. No encore as they really wanted to deal with the whole Dilana scandal/brouhaha/diarrhea of the mouth syndrome. Good call, IMHO.

Bottom3 are Magni, Patrice & Toby.
Magni ~ Fire by Jimmy Hendrix.
Wow. And I mean that sincerely. Magni knocks this out of the park Wait, since when do I use sport metaphors? He plays guitar and he and the House Band look like a complete group. Jason looks stunned. Magni & Raphael did a whole guitar thing together. I love Hendrix & I loved this! He is SO safe.

Patrice ~ Middle of the Road by The Pretenders.
Not liking the arrangement ~ I think the title of this song is so apt for this performance. Who punched her? Ooops, maybe it’s a healing cold sore, my bad. Moving on. She is going home tonight. And the Buddha Bow. Maybe it’s not a cold sore; Magni just told her about it and wiped it off with his sleeve. He really is nice.

Toby ~ Plush by Stone Temple Pilots
He announces he’s never taking his shirt off again. I don’t think that’s what landed you in the B3, my friend. I’m enjoying the nostalgic Marky Mark moves out there. Takes me back. This was good too. Shaky start but it picked up. Crowd interaction, nice. Suddenly, I feel like I’m commentating on a tennis match “Nice form, good backhand”.

Bilgy addresses the unlucky 3.
Patrice – so happy you got to share your original with the world. But this is your 4th trip to the B3, hard to ignore.
Magni – 2 weeks in a row to B3, but that was a killer version of “Fire”
Toby – we thought you were good enough to sing our song with us, go sit down.

Tomahawk “This sucks. But our fans buy our tickets, so Patrice, you’re the next to go” and buries his head in his hands. He looks genuinely upset?!? His acting prowess has really stepped it up a notch since “Back to School”

Goodbye speech is short and sweet. Nothing new here.

Next week, viewer’s choice

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A Young Bilgy Clark

2005 vs 2006

The fans on the message boards just make me laugh out loud! It's the same thing as last year.

2005 ~ "If INXS picks JD then I'm finished with them & I'll never buy their albums or go to a concert"

2006 ~ "If Lukas is who they want then the should hire him and I will be done with them."

In the whole big scheme of things, do you really think SP cares? Do you think they still won't sell albums or concert tickets?

I saw INXS with JD & I have to say, there was NO DOUBT in my mind they made the right choice.

Last year, I knew as soon as JD opened his mouth that he was Roit For INXS. Let's also remember, boys & girls, that I didn't start watching Rockstar until the 2nd or 3rd week so I missed the asshat performance.

Now this year, I still don't have a clear favourite. I don't know what SP is going to sound like {those shiteous songs I've heard so far aren't enough to judge} so I don't know who will be the best fit. I do know that if SP is paying any attention whatsoever to the dramarama offstage, they would be wise to send Dilana home. I can't imagine these guys, all in their 40's, putting up with the insecurities & the pity parties Dilana has been throwing for herself. On the other hand ~ cuz I like to play fair ~ is it the "evil edit" & will she redeem herself and triumph?

Only time will tell, I suppose. In a perfect world, there would be no reality episode, no cameras following them around 24/7, and it would all be about the performances.

Performance Episode 8: Recaps & Reactions

BawkBawk starts off the show over with SP. I guess she figures it's safe over there now that they know she's preggers.
The first 5 minutes is the Storm show with Q&A. Bilgy’s dog Chopper hangs out on the couch. I believe he’s their new producer, and Buzz Lightyear is no longer interested {Butch Walker! That’s his name! Damn Alzheimer’s}

Patrice “Beautiful Thing” ~ Patrice Pike
Meh. Can’t place who she reminds me of, but I know it’s not flattering. Dave tells her she should be a solo artist. T.Lee liked it. Says it’s pretty happy but they can dirty it up.

Magni “Smells Like Teen Spirit” ~Nirvana
Oh goodie! Cuz I was really sad there wasn’t any Nirvana last week. I did miss it so. Aunt Agnes hat again. He’s got such a good voice but he’s so mellow on stage. Move around, man!
Dave – vocally great {just what I said}, really conveys the angst
Jason – great stage energy {what!}
T.Lee – says he should have played guitar. Yeah, cuz Nirvana is so musically intricate that three guitars would be needed.
Dave – let’s get rockin’ up there, I wanna see something get broken this year.

Ryan “Back of Your Car” ~ Ryan Star
First off, I have to mention, he’s wearing black. Again. At least tell me he’s been doing laundry. What were they singing? I couldn’t make it out, it was “Vogue”, “Vote” or “Fall” maybe? At first I thought they were singing VRRRMMM cuz it’s about a car, right? He throws his guitar even so carefully over to the side of the stage. Poser. If they told Magni they loved the Aunt Agnes hat, would you wear one too? Hey, Hey, now we’re talking. I see a white belt. All those years of reading Vogue helped. Maybe they were singing “Vogue” in an homage to his favourite magazine.
Dave – most rocking we’ve seen of you
Bilgy – Wait for it…. Best performance yet!

Storm “Crying” ~ Aerosmith
Hot momma! She’s looking fabulous. Well done, good vocals, love her harsh voice in the rockin’ spots. And I love the patter with the boys.
Bilgy – still looking for that “memorable, extra special” performance
Jason – good, you made it your own

Can I just mention how much I lurve Jim from the House Band? He’s dreamy!

Dilana “Every Breath You Take” ~ Police
How tragic, her parachute ripped on the way down and she decided to make a skirt out of it. I think it’s really clever how she managed to chant her own name during the song, and make it seem like a part of the song. I never even noticed until someone brought it to my attention. Subliminal messages, well done. Now change it to "Buy our album" & the gig is yours.
Dave – flirty with her
She’s asked why she chose that song, & she replies with a sad, sad story about how it’s her mother’s favourite song & she hasn’t spoken to her mother in years, & she wanted to do it in hopes that someday, somewhere, in the not-so-distant future, her mother would learn that she sang it for her & it would make her smile. Gag.

Toby “Layla” ~ Eric Clapton
Hood up! (reminds me of Barney on “How I Met Your Mother” Suit Up! ) Goodie, the trucker chain. Cuz we haven’t seen enough of that yet. Hoody off, nekkid chested over to the rawkers pad to encourage a sing along with the clueless audience. Eric Who?
Dave – entertaining & vocally great.
T.Lee – how you doin'?
Toby – I feel uncomfortable now being half nekkid.
Bilgy – it was a risk on the different arrangement, didn’t like that but the performance was amazing.

Lukas “All These Things That I’ve Done” ~ The Killers
Uh, Lukas, Maverick called. He wants his aviator glasses back. Oh, you just spazzed & knocked them off. Okay, moving on. Tons of crowd reaction to little Lukas, but Jason looks like he smelled a fart again. Voice was beautiful at the beginning, very nice.
Dave – unbelievable.
T.Lee – “Check, please” This was the comment heard around the world. No one could come to a concensus as to whether T.Lee was wanting to get the hell out cuz it was so bad, or ready for the check cuz it was so good. I happen to think he liked it.
Bilgy – great job, but why was your back to the audience so much?
Lukas – they’re my band for 2 minutes & I want to play with them.
Bilgy – we’ll cover you back there, you worry about playing to the audience. Hey, does this mean he's got the job? I just noticed this reading back my notes. Hmmmmm.
Jason – good energy

Supernova Song: Lukas
Bottom3: Patrice, Storm & Magni

Early Bottom3: Patrice, Storm, & Toby

Reality Show August 22

Ok, damnit! I wasn't going to watch any reality shows this year. I was going to base my opinions solely on the performances but the message board sucked me with promises of Dilana backstabbing the other rawkers during the "press junket". Now, don't get me wrong. I don't dislike Dilana ~ I think she's an amazing performer ~ but I also think there's been too much sunshine & roses for her.

I'm writing this 2 weeks after the fact, I have only my notes to go on since my memory is a memory {hahahaha! I kill me!} so bear with me if this is disjointed. Wait, aren't all my posts disjointed? Well then, things are right on schedule.
-Lukas refuses to "dog" anyone during his interview. Commendable.
-Dilana is asked who isn't really set on the job, who's just here for the press? And she replies! Toby is one of these people, and Magni just wants to be with his family. Who didn't like the SuavePorn music? Storm & Ryan. Who shouldn't be here? Patrice. Who do you hate? Lukas ~ he has two personalities & daily she wants to strangle him.
-She also claims that they are all one big family now after living together for weeks. I think this is super-nice "family values" displayed on her part.

All three reporters at one point during the episode say to another rawker "Dilana says". So she wasn't just dishing to one, it was all of them. It wasn't just one trixie devious reporter fooling her into revealing her inner thoughts, it was all of them.

Oh, a teeny tiny personality conflict with Jaime White {Bitch-Troll from Hell} and Lukas. She tells him {after she's hit him with all the filth that Dilana slung} he's being a dick to her, and she can't imagine what it would be like to live in the house with him. He replies that he's not being a dick, but maybe she should kiss his. Well, it's what he wanted to say.

So, now we move on to the song selection portion of our evening's entertainment. Magni fights for Patrice to get an original, then plays guitar for Storm to practice her song with. He is either the nicest guy around, or the most devious.

Dilana & Toby fight over a Police song, & Toby makes her run around the pool nekkid for it ~ payback for her doing that to him last week. The funny thing is he doesn't want the song. One of them tell her she looks like a 12 year old boy with a wig.

While Dilana is rehearsing her falsetto for the song, Lukas mistakes her for a howling dog.

Ryan is even more obsessive than me! He actually was trying to "teach" Raphael {or Jim, I don't know who is who} guitar choreography for his original song. This makes me feel a little better about my OCD/control freak ways.

Unfortunately, I think I'll be watching more episodes because the fallout from the Dilana Verbal Diarrhea is going to be huge!