Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Performance Episode 5: Recaps & Reactions

BawkBawk announces T.Lee will be drumming with someone today. Oooooooo, the pressure mounts! Who will it be?

Wow! A short, 3 minute pre-amble {song selection went fairly peacefully, at least not too much drahma} and we're right in to the show. That's what I'm talking about.

Patrice "Higher Ground" Red Hot Chili Peppers ~ T.Lee is first up, gets behind the drum kit right away with Patrice on vocals. What's with the scary hair? Her vocals are, at best, mediocre this round. She's channelling Sherry O'Terry's cheerleader character with her posing and skipping around the stage.

Let me just take a moment to say that the "Buddha Bow" is really starting to pick my ass. This would be when a rawker puts palms together, brings them to their face and bows ~ at SP, at the audience, at the camera, whatever. It's really annoying the crap out of me, and Patrice is the worst offender.

Josh "Santeria" Sublime ~ His voice is not as grating on my nerves this week. Am I mellowing? Please, for the love of God, don't tell me he's growing on me, I don't think I could take it. Don't know the song, but he sounds quite good {yeesh, can't believe I just said that}. Boys & girls, I don't think that reggae is the way they are headed. Got good comments from the whole couch.

Dilana "Can't Get Enough" Bad Company ~ I love this song, have it on LP & CD, she does fairly well with this. Dilana travels through the crowd to rock on the couch stage a la Deanna, then gets a shoulder ride from her boyfriend {found that out on the Rockband boards} back to the stage. She is so small! Tongue bath again from the boys.

Toby "Pennyroyal Tea" Nirvana ~ I missed the Nirvana boat back in the day so I really don't understand the obsession. We've heard one of their songs every week. He's okay, kinda meh, oh now he's in the crowd hugging some random slightly overweight girl. How nice, how calculated. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Polite comments from the couch.

Zayra "867-5309 Jenny" Tommy Tutone ~ Oh, a cape. Nice. AND gold elbow gloves, a cat print body suit & she forgot her pants. Good look. I actually like the rocking instruments in this version, but as Puffy Kracker called out from the computer room "She was really offkey for the whole song". Halfway through her 'performance' {and I use that term loosely} I thought What? What is this? Is she really serious? Can't really describe this, the English language is bereft of the words I need for this show.
Dave is laughing so hard, they all are, and ask for a commercial break to compose themselves before they comment. Dave says she's at least showing them something different every week, mentions the whole Phil controversy & how people think she should be gone. Gilby admits they keep her around purely for the entertainment value to see what she'll do next, and T.Lee asks if she wants to mud wrestle.

Magni "Clocks" Coldplay ~ Not a really good choice vocally for him, and his stage presence is nil tonight. But how much did the fabulous House Band Rock? Oh. Buddha Bow. Bad
They liked it? Whatever. T.Lee asks about his son, & says they are going to fly Magni's family over for a visit cuz they appreciate his sacrifices. Nice gesture.

Jill "Don't You Forget About Me" Simple Minds ~ a Victoria Secret bra, hmmm. Goes nicely with the stripper moves she's performing on the mic stand. Oh, now she's lifting it up in the air a la Jon Bon Jovi circa 1986. She really tried to 'rock' the song & ended up dating herself. She's stuck a little in the 80's {you know it's gotta be bad for me to comment on that, being an 80's girl myself}. Dave says it was really not that good. Gilby says she oversang the song, & made him uncomfortable again. He keeps on saying that word, does he know what it means? T.Lee tries to get all technical, telling her she sang in too high of a register.

Ryan "Losing My Religion" REM ~ Slowed down, piano version. OMG I just had a Bruno from "Fame" flashback. Some real emotion is showing through here, and he sure can play piano. Nice, for real. That didn't suck at all.
Dave tells him it was "phenomenal,amazing & beautiful". Jason calls it his best performance yet {you know someone was going to hear that} T.Lee says it will get him laid. If there's one thing Tommy is, it's classy.

Lukas "Celebrity Skin" Hole ~ I think he's hung. Over, I mean {you have filthy minds, boys & girls} He performed half the song with his back to the audience, & didn't take command of the stage like normal. A very lackluster performance, but at least we got to see the white belt again, can't get enough of that. Dave tells Lukas it was his least favourite. Gilby calls him on the back to the audience. Lukas says it was a lack of comfort with the lyrics.

Commercial break & I've picked my Bottom3 & tentative encore.

Storm "Changes" David Bowie ~ Pants & jackets sleeves are too short, distracting me from a very good version of the song. She scales it back, no crazy Broadway eyes here, just a solid vocal performance. Dave's favourite performance of hers yet. Gilby says it was risky, but great. Jason calls it classy and gave her a standing O.

Dana "Baba O'Reilly" The Who ~ It's a'right. Not great. Still feel like I'm watching Talent Night or something. She should try to engage the audience more, not play up to the camera all the time. Oh, Fack! I just saw another trucker chain. Are they all taking turns? Dave tells her she sang it well. And the others say other things but I've lost interest already & am trimming my nails.

I stand by my original choices for encore and Bottom3.

Encore: Ryan
Bottom3: Zayra, Josh & Jill.

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