Thursday, July 13, 2006

Performance Episode 2: Recap & Reactions

Hoe-Kay. Here we go again. What a HORRIBLE night. If these are the "14 best unsigned rockers in the world" I'm going country. And that's saying something.

Magni ~ "My Generation". This was surprisingly GOOD. Buddy really pulled up his socks and actually put out a good performance.
Jenny ~ "Tainted Love". What is the deal with all these 'rockers' {and I use that term very loosely} trying to rewrite what are arguably amazing classic songs? Just because The Man, My Man JD did it last year with success makes them think this is what is needed to win. It's not. You just have to be able to sing. Bad.
Jill ~ "Violet". Oh my good Lord in Heaven, what was that? She wears a white cropped wedding dress complete with veil, screams and jumps around the stage like a two-year-old having a tantrum, throws some flowers into the crowd and has the audacity to say she "doesn't know what Courtney Love did, this is all Jill". Bad on SOOOO many levels.
Zayra ~ "You Really Got Me Now". Get her out. Get her out now. Before The Kinks & Van Halen all come and kick all your asses. The cat suit was her only saving grace, and only because T.Lee is such a horn dog.
Chris ~ "Take Me Out". If possible, this was as bad as "Roxanne". And that was the epitome of bad.
Dilana ~ "Ring of Fire". All I's got to say is ??????
Josh ~ "With Arms Wide Open". This was also bad. He reminds me of something, I can't quite put my finger on it. Ah, yes. A Christian folk singer. Not quite what Suave Porn is looking for, methinks.
Phil ~ "If You Can Only See". This man mumbles his way through {I still blame the lack of chin on his enunciation problems} and didn't do anything for this song, or his cause.
Storm ~ "Surrender". Bad. Not liking the Toni Basil hair, not liking the theatrical face & eyes, not liking any of it.
Patrice ~ "Heart Shaped Box". This was OK. Merely OK. She played her guitar along with, so didn't move a whole lot. Last week's song showcased her voice much better.
Lukas ~ "Don't Panic". This was OK. I don't know the song so can't really judge. What they didn't show on the broadcast was T.Lee saying "Let's get on the tour bus right now".
Ryan ~ "Jumpin' Jack Flash". No jumpin', no jack, and definitely no flash.
Toby ~ "Somebody Told Me". Pretty good. All the tighties in the crowd seemed to like it. As did Suave Porn.
Dana ~ "Born to be Wild". The vocals on the chorus were good. But what happens when you take a cheerleader, and dress her up in fishtail stockings, a bustier and mega eye makeup? You get someone who looks like they're going to a mascarade party at a fraternity. Exactly what T.Lee said "Born to be Mild"

My bottom three that I had picked out were:
Chris, Phil & Ryan.

I don't know. If they don't start to bring it, I say Suave Porn should just go out on their own. Do a trio and hope for the best, cuz nobody deserves it yet.

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