Finale Episode

Finale or finally? Your call.

Dave says it's been a helluva summer and he can't wait to see who he's gonna be touring with in January. Now call me stupid, but didn't they already say that the top 5 were going to singing with the House Band on the tour?

Magni, Toby & Lukas all hit the Bottom2 at some point during the voting.

And the Bottom2 are:

Magni ~ Fire by Jimmy Hendrix
Magni looks great all in black with his white suit jacket. He plays guitar. There is a crazy light show in the background with flames & everything! They finally sprang for a decent light tech. This again was awesome. Jason gives him a standing O.

Toby ~ White Wedding by Billy Idol
He's dressed like a militant priest. This is the most covered up I've seen him. This was also awesome. Dilana was trying to sing along but it's fairly obvious she doesn't know the words. His damn suspenders are dangling again. Does a singalong with the audience & jumps into the crowd only at the end, which is different for him.

Both were great {there's that word again} how can they choose? I think Magni is gone.

Bilgy - Magni, it's been a great ride but you're the next to go. You didn't look so much like a leader of the band, but a part of the band.
Isn't that the point? Or do they want someone to swoop in & takeover? I don't understand. My head is hurting already.
Dave - you were the most consistent singer.
Magni - thanks everyone.

A montage of singing & confessional clips of each of the Final3 are shown, & then they are asked to state their case.
Lukas - 2nd or 3rd is not an option. I came here to be 1st.
"I think you guys are amazing. It would be my honour to lead you on a world tour."
Dilana - anything you want you have to fight for. I need them & they need me.
"I am 1000% dedicated to representing great guys & great music. Lukas is incredible, Toby is amazing, but I'm the one."
Toby - keeping my eyes on the prize.
"I'm ready. I'll bring the energy higher than I ever did here. Wait till you see me perform after downing a few beers. Besides, I'm the tallest."

Am I reading something into the fact that the Survivor commercial that just aired featured "Headspin" performed by Lukas? Can anyone say "foreshadowing"?

And they all perform again!

Lukas "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve from week 4
Dilana "Zombie" by The Cranberries from week 3
Toby "Somebody Told My" by The Killers from week 2

No commentary because everyone was good, a little nervous but good.

Jason - Toby, you've got the best vocal range, it cuts thru no matter how loud the guitars are. You are the next to go home.
Boos! Boos! And more Boos! Toby tries to get his fan girlies to shut up.
Dave - wish you all the best
Toby - I had the best time ever doing this. To come in 3rd to these two is no shame. It took me a while to get great, but these guys already were. You've taught me so much. Thank you.

Toby leaves, and BawkBawk joins Lukas & Dilana on stage. Dave says "Looks like you're going to perform a goth wedding." Well, they are holding hands.

Bilgy calls for a commercial break. Do you really think they needed more time to decide, or did they just notice they were done really early? Must research this.

At this point, I phoned Velvis to put forth the theory that SP may pick them both. But I don't know!

TommyHawk:
Lukas - your look, energy and vocals are amazing
Dilana - you're enchanting, and your voice is amazing.
We've got to listen to our fans, and we've picked the person with the highest number of votes. Lukas, you're our boy. Welcome.

The finale episode is brought to you by Verizon Wireless, MySpace, Honda and the word amazing.

Dave, Bilgy & everyone else blather on about how amazing they think Dilana is, and can they please, please play in her sandbox? Like she friggin' cares now. But, whatever.

And the complete band go up on stage to perform "Be Yourself" and other amazing songs by this amazing band that cannot be named. When they got up, I hit myself on the forehead & said "Of course, they were going to choose Lukas all along." You know how I knew? Do ya? Bilgy was wearing a white belt. Oh yeah, that's right. A clothing homage to Lukas.

If there is a show next year, you can be damn certain that every hopeful contestant is going to claim to be a homeless Canadian. I'm just saying.

Elimination Episode 10

Dave congratulates BawkBawk on her pregnancy ~ old news to Suave Porn readers!
She's having a girl.

Quick 5 min recap & Q&A:
Dave asked what it felt like to play their originals in front of a world-wide audience.
Lukas - used to playing for empty beer bottles & ashtrays, felt priviledged to be sharing something so intimate in front of so many people
Toby - I'm a happy little camper. I'm being myself up there {at this point some fangirlies yelled something to him} thanks girls. In 10 years.

So it's time for another enthralling performance from Supernova & this time it's going to be "Magni-fied". Oh, Jason. That was so lame. "It's All Love"
Magni plays accoustic guitar with. It's mellow, and I liked it. I liked it a lot! Not what I expected, good mellow song, but not a power ballad. Fav SP song so far, unfortunately, that's not saying much.

Whoever gets the encore is going to win a Honda Element SE, tripped out in true Rockstar Style. Does that mean some ho's are living in the back with a bottle of JD & some coke? What does that mean, exactly?
Announcement: Dave & The Panic Channel will be joining the tour. I would pay to see them too! Still no concert dates anywhere near me, however. Will content myself to listening to the music.

Encore: Toby "Throw it Away"
Damn suspenders again. Maybe if he wore shoulder pads, they wouldn't slip down all the time. He dedicates the song to the Crocodile Hunter, who was killed today in a freak accident with a sting ray. Toby's got some guyliner on, probably borrowed from Lukas.

All 5 were in the Bottom3 at some point, but the winners are:

Storm ~ Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
This is different than anything else she's done. Very nice. Very good. She's crying, Jason is crying {is he over his lust for Zayra?} She dedicates that to her mother.

Dilana ~ I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick
Original punk rock song? Not so. Cheap Trick was pop-rock, top 40 but never punk. Anyway, I'm not going to box her about it, cuz she has crutches & those things can leave a nasty mark. So she sings a not-so-subtle message to SP, and bops around like she doesn't have an injury, although she makes certain to keep off her right foot, so who knows? Maybe she's just on some really gnarly drugs. Hey! Must go check the stash to make sure no-one has been thieving.

Lukas ~ Headspin
You know, he's no dummy. He knows the more he sings his song, the more it will stick in our brains. And since Toby has sung his twice already, Lukas figured this would be a good idea. And it was. He's got quite the bedazzled cross belt buckle. Do you think he has his own bedazzler? Did you know you can buy one {called GeMagic} from Regal for $24.95, including the crystals? I can hook you up, I've got connections. But, I digress. Magni, Toby & Storm are all singing along .

I haven't a clue! Don't know what's going to happen, who's going home, what they want, where do they get those fabulous clothes, NOTHING!

Bilgy recaps:
Storm - in the B3 multiple times (uh, I think this is her second time, not to be picky or anything)
Dilana - in the B3 again, but you've been the one to watch from the beginning.
Lukas - it's your 1st time, go sit down.

Tommy can't Hawk so he passes it on to Jason who says "You both gave incredible, fantastic performances. We love you both. Storm, you going home to sleep in your own bed tonight."

Dave tells her that he chose to play with her & only her cuz he wants to climb her like a tree.
Storm thanks fans, fans @ home, freaks over there {the rawkers} and says you will see me again.
Dilana does a Buddha Bow. And the show is over, and I must Scope cuz I've got a bad taste in my mouth.

The Dark Horse Rides Off Into The Sunset, Munching On Some Sour Grapes

If you'd like to see the actual final interview with Ryan,

• go to the rockstar website,
• click on "Watch Episodes"
• click on "Week 9" at the bottom
• move arrow to the right until you see "Week 9 Bottom3 Interviews" with Ryan's face
• click & enjoy "A Bitter Pill"

Here is a transcript for the elim interview with Ryan Star:

“I’m disappointed I’m booted off because I feel like I’m the best performer among all of these people. And the best songwriter, and all that stuff, so, I saw myself fronting Supernova, I saw them being a better band for it. With me as their singer they could have had, you know, a 20-year career. Without me, they won’t have 20 years; they might have 2 years. So, I said I’m sorry for that, meaning, sorry for you. And what I wanted to say was that I’ll see you on the charts and I’ll be looking down at you (turns his head downward like looking down a list).

“When Gilby Clark said I’m a better performer now than when I got here…unlike Jason, he didn’t do his research, because he’s never seen me play live before this. And if he did, he would never say that, because wait until he comes to my first live show after this and he’s gonna say “Oh, I get it now…”

“What’s next for Ryan Star is, I’m gonna go back to New York City and pursue my solo career. I’m going to probably right away record a live album and get it out as soon as possible. And just gonna get out there and be bigger than Supernova could ever imagine being.”

Elimination Episode 9

Police lineup again, Storm is showing some skin, trying to save herself from the hatchet.
BawkBawk mentions Dilana's heartfelt apology. "I apologize to every person who feels offended" is neither heartfelt, nor much of an apology in my book. An "I'm sorry, Forgive me, or Pardon my rudeness" would have been better, but what do I know?

Behind the scenes shots, Storm feels she's going home.
Dave addresses the grassy knoll rumors by reiterating what he wrote on his blog (read "Our Position Has Been Compromised") that even though he's been saying he has nothing to do with voting, eliminations, etc. He Lied! Ah, ppod, you crack me up.

Another killer {and I use that term loosely} SP song with Lukas at the helm "It's On"
I'm a little concerned cuz Lukas touched a cymbal, is that allowed? Will T.Lee spank him for it?
Ok, while watching this, a couple things come to mind. They definately need a dynamic front person cuz Jason & Bilgy are boring to watch. This song, not the best. Reminds me of something but be damned if I can figure out what it is.

Why is Dilana wearing horns? Is she trying to be cute? Or steal the spotlight?

Encore: Toby with "Rebel Yell"
And he's off.... and it's over to the rawker pod.... and back to the cheap seats to make them feel special.... and now he's rounded the bend and is up near the couch.... and finally leading a singalong. Whew, I'm tired!

Everyone but Magni hit the B3 at one time. Contrary to what BawkBawk says, this does not mean that Magni got the most votes. And I can prove it mathematically, but not now. When Dilana's name was called, not as many boos as for the others, but was it editing? Only Mark Burnett knows.
Bottom3: Ryan, Storm, Dilana

Ryan ~ Baba O'Riley by The Who
He modestly announces he's going to "Blow your minds". Okay, what's with the horrible waste of champagne? Oh good, Toby has come over to rescue the booze & graciously shares with the other rawkers. Ryan, the crazy rawker that he is, cautiously climbs up on the Marshall stacks, almost decapitating one of the guitarists with his mic cord in the process. Bilgy actually looks embarrassed for him. As do I. Oh, he borrowed Lukas's white belt from Toby. It's nice that they have all learned to share. That was B-A-D.

Storm ~ Helter Skelter by The Beatles.
And she's off! Down through the crowd to plop onto T.Lee's lap and back into the crowd where she loses her hat but never her composure, and up onto the stage for the finish. You know, it's pretty risky to do a song that one of SP used to perform a lot as your elim song. {T.Lee, with Motley Crue, in case you're wondering}

And BawkBawk psychs out Toby with a "Toby.......you're safe" and then "Dilana, welcome to elimination night"

Dilana ~ Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads.
She announces that the song is fitting to her situation, and she's going to dedicate it to herself. I think Jason just smelled a fart again. She's barefoot and bouncing around. I don't know this song at all so I can't tell if she did it well or not. According to those in the know, she missed a complete verse {French lyrics} and so just substituted her name in a couple time instead. She's got lots of her back to the audience ~ maybe cuz she didn't know the lyrics? ~ and there's pacing up & down the runway with bouncing & a bit of the flamenco dancing.

I honestly don't know what they're up to. I'd send Ryan, but I think they will send Storm packing.

Bilgy recaps:
Ryan - what an adventure, you've come so far, you were great tonight.
Storm - 1st B3, this was a solid great performance but we haven't seen a lot of growth
Dilana - lost in the middle of the song, however you have earned so much credit with us.
No one is sent back to safety!

TommyHawk: Ryan, unfortunately, I'm sorry to say you're the next to go.
Plenty of boos from the audience, and T.Lee looks around nervously like he could/should maybe take it back.

Ryan has the most ungracious goodbye since Ty. "You could have had 20 years of great music with me as your lead & I'll see you on the charts as a solo artist. That's where I'll be hanging out."

But wait, his elim interview is worse! I'll post a link here.

Elimination Episode 8

The rawkers are all on stage for a police line-up. I spot the criminal ~ it’s Dilana with Princess Lei hair dipped in candy floss.

We’re treated to a 6 minute “behind the scenes” with Dilana getting the evil edit. I really need to find out all that happened! I don’t know why, it’s a strange compulsion, but I will stay up late into the night {okay, late into the early morning} to find out all the stuff they cut from the show.

So all the rawkers were in the studio yet again competing to sing with Suave Porn. Why are they competing for the “Hey, hey, hey and the ho, ho, ho”? Not sure. These musical masterminds are really outdoing themselves in the lyric department. That's sarcasm, boys & girls.

Back in the studio, we hear SP featuring Toby on “Be Yourself and 5 Other Cliches”
Okay, who thought of this title? Evs.
Bilgy, my friend, those pants are bad. Too loosy goosy in your heiny. Please correct tout de suite. Nice chewy guitar at the beginning {and yes, that is the technical term. I take guitar lessons and I know!} Poor Toby, no dancing ho’s for you ~ which is kinda funny cuz you’d think that it would kinda go with the song? Well, at least he has his trucker chain AND dangling suspenders to keep his spirits up.

Oh yes!! They are going to address the press clinic. Yes, yes, YES! Oh, flashback to Harry & Sally, “I’ll have what she’s having.” So we get to see all the flora & fauna that spewed from her mouth, except, interestingly enough, Dilana naming Storm as one of the people who didn’t like SP’s music. Hmmmm, have to analyze that for a while.

Dave responds. “What the hell are you thinking? Never bag on your peers like that!”
Dilana “I screwed up, I apologise to every person who feels offended.”
Dave “Why would you say these things?
Dilana “I’m too honest, I don’t know how to lie”
Dave “Lukas, how do you respond?”
Lukas “I’m not surprised. I have to live with it, literally. I’m bigger than that {ever so slightly} so evs.

Finally, at 9:25 we get into the Bottom3. No encore as they really wanted to deal with the whole Dilana scandal/brouhaha/diarrhea of the mouth syndrome. Good call, IMHO.

Bottom3 are Magni, Patrice & Toby.
Magni ~ Fire by Jimmy Hendrix.
Wow. And I mean that sincerely. Magni knocks this out of the park Wait, since when do I use sport metaphors? He plays guitar and he and the House Band look like a complete group. Jason looks stunned. Magni & Raphael did a whole guitar thing together. I love Hendrix & I loved this! He is SO safe.

Patrice ~ Middle of the Road by The Pretenders.
Not liking the arrangement ~ I think the title of this song is so apt for this performance. Who punched her? Ooops, maybe it’s a healing cold sore, my bad. Moving on. She is going home tonight. And the Buddha Bow. Maybe it’s not a cold sore; Magni just told her about it and wiped it off with his sleeve. He really is nice.

Toby ~ Plush by Stone Temple Pilots
He announces he’s never taking his shirt off again. I don’t think that’s what landed you in the B3, my friend. I’m enjoying the nostalgic Marky Mark moves out there. Takes me back. This was good too. Shaky start but it picked up. Crowd interaction, nice. Suddenly, I feel like I’m commentating on a tennis match “Nice form, good backhand”.

Bilgy addresses the unlucky 3.
Patrice – so happy you got to share your original with the world. But this is your 4th trip to the B3, hard to ignore.
Magni – 2 weeks in a row to B3, but that was a killer version of “Fire”
Toby – we thought you were good enough to sing our song with us, go sit down.

Tomahawk “This sucks. But our fans buy our tickets, so Patrice, you’re the next to go” and buries his head in his hands. He looks genuinely upset?!? His acting prowess has really stepped it up a notch since “Back to School”

Goodbye speech is short and sweet. Nothing new here.

Next week, viewer’s choice

Elimination Episode 7

BawkBawk refers to SuavePorn as musical masterminds?!? Hardly.
Bilgy ~ nice jeans, my friend. Snug in ALL the right places.

Recap: Oh, poor Storm. Everyone’s picking on her. Suck it up, Princess. She didn’t get anywhere near the negativity that Jill endured every week she was on the show.

An Announcement by Bilgy: SP is going to get up off their asses & play each elimination episode. An original SP song with one of the rawkers taking lead vocals so they can assess the “chemistry” with each of them.
After saying no less than 6 times that no decision has been made, no one is ahead of anyone else, and more blah, blah, BLAH which they re-iterated so many times that you just KNOW they mean the opposite, SP announced that Dilana would be singing with them.

Dilana sings “Leave the Lights On” {this is what I’m calling it anyway) with SP. I think she stole Patrice’s hair from last week, or at least the rat that creates this nest. Oh wow, 4 sleazy backup dancers are joining her on stage, dressed very similar to her. Yes, I’m sure that no-one knew Dilana would be chosen, a sooper-seekrit to all. Ha!

Did T.Lee just say the dancers “are dope” or “are on dope”?
BawkBawk announces that Sept. 13 is the finale with 4 finalists. That ends THAT discussion. And ensures there will be no more double elims.

Encore: Ryan ~ again in his Unabomber clothing line. The string quartet is back, but shunted to the side. Puffy Kracker, who is abstaining from the crack that is Rockstar, said from the computer room “That was OK”. High praise indeed, boys & girls.

Bottom3: Zayra, Patrice & Magni. Only 1 right again. Man, didn’t see Magni coming at all!

Zayra ~ Razorblade by Blue October. When I first saw her outfit, I thought “Flasher”. Nice trench coat & thigh-high boots, and then… an ass-flash. So I was right. Seriously, don’t know the song, but WTF was that?
Patrice ~ Celebrity Skin by Hole. And she leaves the stage and rounds the corner & up and over he rawkers pod, and she’s down into the audience and coming around the home stretch and OMG she’s up in the couch area & singing right in their faces. Whew! That was quite the horse race. She is so bland now! What happened? She’s lost her spark. And again with the flippin’ Buddha Bow. Meh.
Magni ~ Creep by Radiohead. He starts out the song wearing an Aunt Agnes hat. Not nice. Not his best … Ooops! Spoke too soon, he just hit the “Run, Run” and it was awesome.

My guess during the commercial break is Zayra will finally be put out of her misery {and ours}& released from the gilded cage.

Bilgy does his usual run-through all the Bottom3, saying to Magni “You’re not going anywhere, sit your ass down”.
You know, if I may digress for a moment, there’s only one word that aptly describes SP and that is “Class”. You heard me, this is one class act.

So the Hatchetman tells Patrice “We believe you have potential for SP” so Zayra, “Unfortunately, you have to go”. The nicest axing yet.
Zayra babbles something about all they’ve learned and yadda, yadda, Jason collapses in a sobbing heap on the couch (tantrum, really, very sad at his age) and it’s all over for another week.

Now, if we just lose Patrice & Toby, then we’ll be down to the nitty gritty.

Elimination Episode 6

Oooooooh, some girls were gettin' bitchy back at the gilded cage. Shocker ~ Jill is involved. She's calling every out for not wanting to play with Bilgy. Storm says she has nothing to prove because she knows she can play with Bilgy, & Bilgy knows it too!
Dave totally calls her on it, & Storm is speechless. Much like Wilma when she's sleeping. HAHAHA!
Bilgy tells the rawkers that they need to fight for these chances to play with SP because they need to see the chemistry betwixt them & SP.

T.Lee announces all the remaining rawkers after tonight will be headed to Vegas with SP to check out the Hard Rock Cafe where they will be playing New Year's Eve.

Encore: Lukas & Magni. (I was right on 1) Both well deserved, in my not-so-humble opinion.
Lukas was better than last night. I've finally figured out what he reminds me of. A bantam rooster having an epileptic fit. Yup, pretty sure that's what it is.
Magni did his song "Magnified" {I know, it's lame, I'm just quoting T.Lee}. Very good!

Bottom3: Jill, Josh & Ryan (I was right about 1, but that was pretty obvious. Man, I suck at this!)

Jill "Respect" ~ Aretha Franklin
Oh, sweetie. Whatcha doin'? Oversinging again? Oh, okay. If that's the way you want to play it, Buh-Bye.
Josh "Shooting Star" ~ Bad Company
Plays his guitar again. After being told not to play his guitar. Maybe he's going Buh-Bye?
Ryan "Enjoy the Silence" ~ Depeche Mode
Wow, impressive song choice. Loses the Unabomber hoodie & is wearing a {shocker!} red t. Dirtied up the song a bit with some intensity. This was good. He's staying fer sure.

My guess: Jill is gone.

Bilgy babbles & declares Ryan safe.

TommyHawk says, and I quote "The Ax falls twice. Both of you are out of here." I'm so glad he let them down easy.

Jill babbles some inane thank you's to SP, the audience, and the rawkers. Missed the House Band in the excitement of going home, I suppose.
Josh asks "Can we still go to Vegas?" The rawkers, well, everyone laughs. Josh turns to the rawkers & says "What are laughing about? Don't you realize we're going home? This isn't funny. Jill & I got cut." Now, THAT was class. I may not appreciate his voice, but I certainly can appreciate his cool. Good on ya, man.

Elimination Episode 5

During the talky, talky, recap "meanwhile, back at the mansion" crap, Ryan actually had some supportive, positive comments to say to Lukas. Maybe he isn't the asshat I thought he was.

Q&A between the couch and the rawkers, blah blah blah.

Encore: Ryan ~ was there any doubt? He did well, but I think last night's performance was better.

BawkBawk gets right to it {HAHAHAHAHA, I Kill me!} and starts announcing the Bottom 3: Jill, Dana & Patrice. 1 out of 3, I'm slipping. Interestingly, there were very few Oooo's & aaaah's & "NO!" coming out of the audience when Jill was announced. She's not a crowd favourite. I'm just saying.

Jill performs "Alone" by Heart. No craziness, no asshattery, just stands up there and belts it out. Well done & she gets a standing O from SP. I wonder if she chose this song in response to Gilby's criticism & holding up Ann Wilson as a woman rocker who doesn't flaunt her sexuality for stage presence? Just a thought.

Side note, BawkBawk tattles on Toby & Dana who both missed their rehearsals with the House Band. Who in their right mind would ever skip a chance to jam with these guys?

Dana sings "House of the Rising Sun" by The Animals. Man, that is too much voice for someone so young. She just looks awkward on stage to me, like a colt that hasn't grown into her legs yet. She doesn't seem comfortable up there ~ I hope it's something she learns in time, cuz with those pipes she could have an amazing career.

Patrice finishes up the Bottom 3 with "Eternal Life" by Jeff Buckley. Never heard the song. Didn't really care for it ~ I'm sure she sang it well, but I didn't personally like the song. Also, another Buddha Bow.

I have a feeling that Patrice is gone.

Gilby announces for all those who will remain that SP will be giving them a new track to write lyrics melody individually. I guess this is where the band sees what the rawkers are bringing to the table. Who can back up what they've been saying with some actual proof? Only time will tell.

Gilby tells Jill she has made some bad choices but she saved herself tonight with her performance. Dana is told she is developing well, but is there enough time for her to grow? Patrice is a good singer & performer, but he questions her being in the Bottom 3 yet again with a performance that showcased T.Lee on the drums.

Hatchet Man TL tells Dana "You've got to go. You've come so far, but you have so much farther to go."
Dana has some very gracious & mature last words which Jason acknowledges, saying "You've got a long way to go ~ but you're going to go a long way". Finally! Someone is writing better stuff for them. Let's see how long it lasts, shall we?

You gotta admire her moxie. Dana has not been shy about her lack of.... seasoning, shall we say? But doesn't take no shite from anyone either.

I can't wait to see what sort of songs are going to come out of this next assignment. Please, Lord in Heaven above, no "Stop, Go"!

Elimination Secrets Revealed

So, after lots of research {I've visited 4 websites} I've discovered the reasoning behind the abrupt dismissal of Phil.

According to those in the know, those who actually attend the tapings in LaLa Land, there was a lot of stuff cut out of the episode, namely this telling exchange between Dave & Phil....

Dave ~ "Do you get newspapers up at the Mansion, Phil?"
Phil ~ "No."
Dave ~ "Well, we do. Let me read you something."
He whips out a newspaper and proceeds to read from an interview with Phil, in which Phil said his primary goal for competing is to gain exposure for his band. "I mean, really I just hope to gain exposure. I love my band and I love the music," he said. "I'm not stoked about the music Supernova's popping out."
He said he knows if he wins the competition he's obligated to tour with the band, but that's a risk he's willing to take."I may have taken a risk. I love my boys back home, but you know I still have to look out for myself in this world," he said. "I've got to create opportunities for myself, and this is too huge an opportunity to say no to."

Phil is taken aback when confronted by this, but does admit that he didn’t like “the Supernova riff” (or something like that). Tommy, meanwhile, looks like he’s just been stabbed in the heart. (You can see a shot like this in the show.) He turns to the other Rockers and warns ALL of them NOT to make the band or their work look bad with the media or in the press. Gilby then tells Phil that Tommy was absolutely devastated to be letting him go and that he hadn't wanted to do it.

Click here to this exchange in all it's uncut glory.

Click here for Dave's point of view.

And, if you've got some time, click here to see what the hard-core fans of the show are saying. Pay particular attention to page 23 on.

Now, I know that the interview with Phil was given the first week of July. But what was going through his mind? Was he trying to be controversial to get noticed? Was he just speaking his mind, not realizing the consequences? Did he under-estimate the reading level of SP? Was he stoned ~ again? Who knows.
Word of advice to the remaining rawkers: You are in a job interview. Don't diss your future employers, future fellow bandmates, or their music if you really want the job.

Elimination Episode 4

Someone, anyone out there please tell me why this program is an hour long? Oh, right, it’s so we can see the same clip 5 times over! Mark Burnett Productions, in all their infinite wisdom{or finite, as the case is shaping up to be} has decided not to air the reality episodes on TV ~ although we get them on Global in Canada for some strange, unknown reason ~ and so all the scandal, highlights & lowlights are displayed in all their glory during the elimination episodes. Just get on to the damn performances!

BawkBawk is getting pretty “tongue-in-cheek” with her comments, and introduces T.Lee as the man “rumoured to have the biggest hatchet in Hollywood”. Ahem. Enough said about THAT.

We have another monotonous recap of the performances with BawkBawk proclaiming that Suave Porn was disappointed with Phil, Josh, Magni, Zayra, Jill & Patrice. We get to hear Phil’s comments about the poor song selection, which was never really answered by SP to my satisfaction, although Dave did counter with Dana & Dilana as examples of what to do well with a slower song. Apparently, the guys are more concerned with presentation, than the song. Isn’t this a complete about-face from the last few weeks when they told various rawkers that they choose a poor song?

Some scenes from the gilded cage follow; chat, chat Q&A between SP & the rawkers ~ who cares? Really, does anyone care? Do I say this every week? Get to the business at hand for the love of God!

Encore goes to Storm and rightly so, as I called this on the performance night. Yes, I’m fabulous, but you can still tell me anyway.
Storm starts out with an impressive ass shake. And is she doing a plie? Just as good as the night before, IMHO.

Bottom 3: Patrice, Zayra & Phil. Again, I called 2 out of 3. My spidey sense is tingling. I’m getting so near to perfect, I can barely stand it!

Patrice performs “My Iron Lung” Radiohead in sunglasses, a zipper shirt & a hoody. She leaves centre stage, heads over to the rawker pad for some one-on-one with Lukas & his tongue, and sings well. Not a Radiohead fan, so don’t know the song, but she’s intense.

Zayra sings “Not an Addict” by K’s Choice. Again, don’t know the song. But if the guys keep saying “Bring it. Kill it. Crunch it. Rock it.” this is not the song to do it with. Very mellow, and I’m pretty sure they brought out the soft-filter lens again for the close-ups. Just an aside, that silver mini-skirt reminds me of Olivia Newton-John from “Zanadu” {the movie, not the song}

Phil rounds out the bottom 3 with “Smoking Umbrellas” by Failure. Again, do not know the song. If there’s one thing this show will do for me is expand my knowledge in music. Phil does very well, from what I can tell, and I safely predict that Zayra will finally bite the dust.

T.Lee pulls up the hood of his red sweater, revealing devil horns and after some Q&A with the bottom 3 announces “Phil, you’re the next to go”. They question his commitment.

Well, colour me stupefused! I have nothing to say at this point, cuz I got nothing in me brain. WTF? If I ever at some point thought I knew what was going on, I certainly cannot make that claim now.

Elimination Episode 3

New Sensation is still the theme song? WTF? Has this always been? And why am I just noticing it now?

So BawkBawk is dressed like a Celtic cheerleader - nice skirt!

They showed some footage from the Performance Episode, and the aftermath at the gilded cage. Dana is confused ~ is my makeup wrong? I did the arm pump and I'm stomping around. What more do they want? Uh, just a guess, but less Celine Dion and more Rockstar could be the way to go. 15 minutes of discussion, questions for the rawkers and recaps. Blaaah! Bring on the show!

Magni gets the encore. Does a nice job.

Bottom 3: Jenny, Dana & Josh. Two out of 3, my super-genius powers are coming back to me. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
A little aside - what did Zayra say when she was called up for being in the bottom 3 during the voting? She looked pissed!

Jenny does "Vaseline" by STP. Her voice is just not suited to the hard stuff. She has great stage presence during this number, but can't wail. And why does Jason always look like he just smelled a fart? Nice golf clap Josh. Way to be supportive.
Dana performs "High Road Easy" by Sass Jordan. She intros it as an underground song. Now is it the Canadian in me that wants to slap her face? I wouldn't call it underground, but maybe I'm being overly sensitive. I actually got goosebumps during this performance, but the air conditioner was set high so I don't want to get on the Dana Bandwagon just yet.
Josh does "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana. Seriously, how many times will we have to hear this song? I have nothing against the song, but come on! Use a little originality people! Can't get into his voice for the life of me, not the singing out of the side of his mouth, nor the lack of stage presence, nor the smiley smiley smiley.

My thoughts... Jenny is gone.

Now it's the stupid BK Stacker commercial. Query ~ is that really Hervé Villechaize, or just someone who looks like him? Edit: not him, he passed away in 1993.

The Hatchet Man, T.Lee, again tells us how much this sucks and finally gets to it. "Jenny, you gotta go." How suave. How debonair. Way to soften the blow.

I agree with their decision, and wish Jenny all the best at her neighbourhood Vancouver coffee house.

Elimination Episode 2

How did people ever decide who to vote for? I'm not sure what criteria they are basing it on, but it certainly wasn't on the performances.

Toby gets the encore and doesn't do as well as before. The chickies still dig it, though. I guess there's no accounting for taste.

The Bottom Three are painfully, slowly announced.
Jill, Zayra & Chris. Again, only one right. This is starting to remind me of the Oscar Night competition.

Jill performs "Bring Me To Life" and NAILS it! She did awesome! And Zayra was just steaming the whole time cuz she killed that song {and not in a good way} and I suspect Jill picked it partially to show how horrible Zayra was, and partially because she knew she'd do well.
Zayra performs "You Really Got Me" again. Because she wants to show them what she's about. We know what she's about. Ruining really good songs. I think this was the absolutely laziest thing I've ever seen on TV ~ other than some footage of me passed out on a couch after a night of martinis ~ she sang the same freakin' song! Brutal. Just brutal.
Chris performs "If You Could Only See". Who knew this guy could actually sing? This was good! Much better than Phil. Colour me impressed. No doubt in my mind that this guy should live to see another day.


Well, colour me surprised when Chris is sent home! I think the catsuit saved Zayra's ass ~ literally.

I don't know what to think anymore. I need a beer.

Elimination Episode 1

Bottom Three:Chris, Phil & Matt. {So I only got 1 right, so what? I'm still ultra-smrt}

Dilana gets the encore. Whatever.
Chris sings "LA Woman" by The Doors. His stage presence is SOOOOO bad.
Phil sings "Stars" by Switchfoot. Having never heard the original, I can't compare but I do think that his absence of a chin is causing the mumbling.
Matt sings "Planet Earth" by Duran Duran, but tells Supernova he's going to "rock it up". And how is he going to accomplish this? By changing the key to D. I really think the poor lad was simply confused. He thought he was auditioning for the job as back-up singer for Nick Lachey, and stumbled into the wrong room by accident.

On the plus side, producer Mark Burnett has found his winning formula for this show ~ the Canadian guy acts like a shit-ass, says something stupid and pisses everyone off.

I query ~ "Will Lukas be allowed to redeem himself and prove that he's really a nice guy under all that hair gel and makeup?" "How much ADD medication should T.Lee be on?" "Who will Gilby say sucks next time?" Tune in next week to find the answer these and other startling questions on another exciting episode of Rockstar:Supernova.